Diary of a Twenty-Something: Distractions

Deciding what to write about is always a hard thing to do..

Like, where do you start? Who or what do people want to read about? Like, what exactly? Perhaps, I haven’t had enough booze to muster up the courage to just sit and choose a topic. Or, maybe I’ve had way too much and I’m just trying to make excuses.

Let me paint you a picture of what my life is right now. I just walked in from the kitchen where I snagged one of my roommates Bud Lights. I am much too lazy to hop in my car and a make a cigarette run to the liquor store, make some idle chit chat with “Ms. Skyrim” and head back. Like, fifteen minutes of my time, total. Not bad, if you can look past the fact I’m down a headlight and my license isn’t what we call, not suspendedSeems like a safe choice in the end.

So I grab the piss water and head back to my room, and give my seven pound ball of snuggly pup (a chihuahua named Balor) a good pet. I was so stoked that he actually gave me a lick. It was pretty affectionate considering I noticed he dropped a mighty deuce on the floor. Not mad, more curious. Like, he’s literally seven pounds. And the fucking turd had to be four pounds with the length and girth of Castro’s cigar. Shit happens..

Hell, half the time I drain two pots of coffee I can barely make it to the toilet, either. But being the superior race, we got pants. Another reason being, I own like two pairs of shorts, one being a pair swim trunks. I’m a 20-something. I’m between like, 26 or 27. Someone will remind me on my next birthday.

“We live in such a distracted world, but always seem to bitch about how we are distracted.”

After cleaning up the dog shit, I’m confronted with a mess of two empty pints of whiskey, a sixer of assorted beers, and a pile of snuffed Turkish Golds. I should clean this mess up, but let’s be honest here. Instead of cleaning, sitting on your ass and doing nothing sure as hell beats more work.

peekasso:memo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjDQzCq6FdM

Image by Peekzasso.

We live in such a distracted world, but always seem to bitch about how we are distracted. I find myself guilty as charged. It was probably a few days back when I found myself bitching about how this even younger generation are too attached to their devices. Then, here I sit with my dick in my hand, reading where to buy those high school pizzas, facebooking, watching youtube vlogs, ignoring late night television, and googling some really fucked up shit on my phone (cough–www.efukt.com–cough).

What was I thinking before even I said that? Probably, something along the lines of being almost out of data and being too poor to pay the late coverage fee. It most likely came from the fact that I resent no longer being a kid; a time when I didn’t have all these worries. Paying bills, not technically being legal to drive. Choosing to buy Balor food over myself, and living off 4 for 4$ fast food deals. I got to give a huge shout-out to Wendy’s and Hardee’s for that; true proof of modern convenience and obesity. 

As all these thoughts process through my head, I still have the whole problem of not knowing what to even write about.. I guess I’ll leave it at that. That’s who I am and how I see the world.  For today, at least.




Featured image credit: toolfools.files.wordpress.com.

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    By: Drew Walsman

    Drew is a twenty something weirdo. Typically he can be found at a local dive bar chain smoking, keeping to himself watching the people interacting. He loves professional wrestling, playing video games until his eyes bleed, and dogs. He’s a proud father of a chihuahua. He’s a manic-depressive who refuses to stay medicated. Most stories will revolve around wrestling, dogs, and the ups and downs of his ever chaotic life.

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    Diary of a Twenty-Something: Change is F#@k’d

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